Since the world shut down in March, I have been on a transformative weight loss journey full of ups and downs. Now, when I saw “transformative”, I don’t mean that I lost a crazy amount of weight or look insanely different that I did before, but these last couple of months have taught me so much. So far, I have lost 20 lbs over quarantine (about the amount that I gained over the last two years) and have been able to maintain the weight in a healthy way. At some point, I would like to continue to lose a little bit more weight but am satisfied with maintaining my current weight. Here is a summary of my journey and what I have learned.
My History with My Weight
For practically all of my life, I have struggled with my weight. Feeling fat, seeing those numbers on the scale, and hiding underneath extremely oversized and baggy clothing was my reality for much of my middle school days. In high school and in college, while I tried to be healthy and was relatively active (having played field hockey all four years of high school), I was always overweight and continuing to gain weight. During the second half of high school, when the pressure of getting good grades and test taking was definitely prioritized over mental and physical health, I gained enough weight to be considered in the obese category.
I didn’t accept the reality of the consequences of being overweight at all. I didn’t feel overweight, had no issues physically relating to my weight, and never felt out of shape compared to my peers in gym class, I actually ended up being very competitive in gym and excelling for some reason. All in all, I felt trapped in someone else’s body.
I’ve always been weary around the phrase “eating disorder” and have never defined my issues at the moment, but looking back, there were definitely times in high school where I was consumed by my binge eating habits. I’m not sure if I clearly had an eating disorder, but I had an unhealthy relationship with food. In high school, eating became a security blanket for me to the point where a lot of the times, it wasn’t even enjoyable. While I love food so much today, I have much better control over my eating habits and can really appreciate and enjoy the food that I am eating.
I am very motivated by projects. One of the reasons why I almost never have large chunks of free time is because I am really good at making new projects and setting new goals for myself. In starting this blog, I have become very motivated to try new things out in order to then write about them. Things that I have wanted to do for so long were finally starting to happen: drinking a gallon of water a day, completing work out challenges, even writing every week, etc. Being able to start these challenges for a week or a month with Meech really kept me to it and forced me to analyze the effectiveness of all of these different challenges.
I think that I have come a long way with my relationship with food. Cutting out sugar, drinking a gallon of water, and intermittent fasting are examples of different food trends that I have tried out for myself over the quarantine. Throughout these processes, I have learned what works for me and what doesn’t. I’ve learned that a lot of these trends do make sense for me, but in a modified version. For example, while I do not measure how much water I drink every day and probably do not drink a gallon a day today, I am more aware of how much water I am drinking and make more of an effort to drink more water.
Trying out different workout challenges has been a defining component of my quarantine lifestyle. After trying Chloe Ting videos, Blogilates videos, Lilliy Sabri’s and more, I have found specific workouts that I loved as well as workouts that seem to feel good or ones that work for me. Beyond workout challenges online, I have also tried different forms of workouts like going on walks and runs outside or on the treadmill. I have learned what podcasts and music playslists really pump me up and get me excited, etc.
While I am not an expert on how to lose weight, I have become more of an expert on how I can lose weight and keep it off. Having tried so many different things in a controlled environment and keeping track, I have learned so much and adapted based on my findings. Having this blog, Meraki Beans, has become more than an outlet for me to express my feelings but also a motivation to improve and better myself. Soon, I will be compiling a list of what specifically has worked for me in terms of diet, exercise, and mentally. Ultimately, I think what I appreciate the most about Meraki Beans is that I am consciously evaluating myself in all aspects of life and reflecting in a healthy way. In a year, my blog posts will be wildly different than they are for me. Maybe what I’ve learned over the last couple of months will be irrelevant but maybe they won’t. I love the opportunity to change that I’ve been investing in over the last couple of months and I can only hope to keep adjusting to understand myself even more.
Originally published at http://merakibeans.com on November 20, 2020.